Day One... Saying it out loud.

So much has changed in just a few days. I was diagnosed with RA (rheumatoid arthritis, Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is a chronic, systemic inflammatory disorder that may affect many tissues and organs, but principally attacks flexible (synovial) joints. The process produces an inflammatory response of the capsule around the joints (synovium) secondary to swelling (hyperplasia) of synovial cells, excess synovial fluid, and the development of fibrous tissue (pannus) in the synovium. The pathology of the disease process often leads to the destruction of articular cartilage and ankylosis of the joints. Rheumatoid arthritis can also produce diffuse inflammation in the lungs, membrane around the heart (pericardium), the membranes of the lung (pleura), and white of the eye (sclera), and also nodular lesions, most common in subcutaneous tissue. Although the cause of rheumatoid arthritis is unknown, autoimmunity plays a pivotal role in both its chronicity and progression, and RA is considered a systemic autoimmune disease.) a few months ago. I was training for the Route 66 Half Marathon and was feeling pretty good at the time. I didn't think it was that big of deal, I mean, my mother and my grandmother had it, but I was an athlete. I thought I was in control of my body and that I could decide how I would react to it. As the last few months past, it continued to get worse. At the end of a long day with the boys, I would go to my room and could barely take off my clothes to put my pajamas on. Then it got where I couldn't stand the pain to put my pajamas on, so I started wearing robes. I couldn't sleep through the night because every time I moved I would wake up from pain. No sleep is not acceptable for a mother of 2 little boys. Unless they are the cause of the no sleep, of course. I got really sick the week of the half marathon. I had a horrible stomach virus and was in bed an entire day. The longer I laid in bed, the harder it was to get up. That is when the running started to dwindle. I ran a few times after that, maybe 3-4 miles and then it just got too much and I stopped. It was the Holidays, that's a good time for a break, I thought. The thing I didn't realize about RA and this is the best way I can describe it, is that your joints are slowly freezing. If you stop moving them, they turn into windshield wipers stuck to a frozen windshield. You have to wait for them to thaw out. The longer they freeze the thicker the ice and the longer it takes to thaw them out. Needless to say, it's been a struggle trying to get back to my early, below freezing morning runs. I've started and I will get there. Eventually.

This week is when I learned the magnitude of my individual version of this disease. I have what is called the unmarked form of RA, meaning it does not show up on a blood test. This is the same type that my grandmother has been diagnosed with. For me, I just assumed that meant it was less severe. I was wrong. My rheumatologist informed that it is the most aggressive and progressive type of this disease. I understood right then and there that I could no longer mess around. I have to get a plan in order. I must not succumb to this disease.

My first step was deciding in which direction we were going to fight this disease. We came to the conclusion the Biologic injections would be a good fit, or so we think. You don't really know you try it and see if it works or not. I decided on the injections that you do yourself, in your home, once a week, would be the most convenient. Not the most enjoyable choice, of course. Adam and I were discussing having another baby before all of this happened. I discussed this with my Dr. and he advised that the symptoms of RA go away while you are pregnant. This made me feel pretty good about going forward and then he dropped a bomb... after the baby is born it returns with a vengeance. Eeeek... He also had me look up possible fetal complications that may occur while using the Biologics. It was hard to look at. I decided I should NOT get pregnant at this time. At least not until I go into remission.Pretty hard to swallow having something like this determine if you should have a baby or not. Moving forward, I had to go get a tb test taken and read, which was negative and x-rays of my hands, feet and chest. Waiting on those results. I'm sure they are fine, as well. Now, we are just waiting until the medicine comes in.

I spoke with my running partner and my dear friend, Amy, about all of this and she broke through my fear, my sorrow, and my devastation with one single sentence. She told me that my dr., who she knows socially, told her that "I would be fine because I will fight this like an athlete." So that became my plan of action.

And so my journey begins.... This blog will document my daily successes as well as my struggles.